I am an Autism mom.

My son was diagnosed when he was 5 years old. Prior to his diagnosis of ASD, he was diagnosed with PTSD, Night Terrors, Sleep walking, Sleep Talking and teeth grinding. He was to small for the mouthguards at the time, i wish i could have had them for him. But all of these diagnosis happened just after his third birthday. Needless to say i was a single mom of a three year old who would wake up screaming in the middle of the night staring at me but not responsive. That was just the beginning.

As we worked through the sleepwalking and night terror things associated with PTSD, he started to become more agressive. But i didnt even take note of it i just thought he was being a kid..

Then, one day, while i was at work... i got a phonecall not even 20 minutes after dropping him off at daycare. the daycare he had been in for the last two years... he was curb stomping a child, he was scratching, biting, hitting, screaming, he wasn't my child.. he wasnt my sweet little boy who was helpful and loving.. he was a monster.. a demon... literally satan reincarnated...

After spending 6 hours at the Stollery Childrens Hospital, we were sent home with no meds, but only a crisis number and an appointment for a mental health facility for someone my sons age. The appointment wasnt for another almost 60 days..

Fast forward to our appointment date finally! 63 calls to crisis about how to help my insanely violent child and we now are able to see a psychiatrist. Over the next two months, we have seen 5 different psychiatrists and therapists. Then we finally meet the right one, the one who gets him the one who helps, the one who took the time.

Now, we have our diagnosis' of ASD, PTSD, ADHD - Combined sever behaivoural, and because of the medication, he decided to send him to a cardiologist.

The cardiologist --> we get the holter monitor for overnight, we do the ultrasound of his heart, and yet another issue pops up. He has a hole that never closed, the size of a pencil eraser in his heart. He also has ventricular trigeminy.

In a typical heart rhythm, the heart beats in an even pattern. The top part of the heart squeezes, then the bottom part of the heart squeezes in regular rhythm. However, sometimes the bottom part of the heart (the ventricles) can beat slightly out of rhythm. This is known as a premature ventricular complex (PVC) or ventricular premature beat. When this occurs in a three-beat pattern, doctors call it trigeminy.

This pattern can be two normal (sinus) beats and one abnormal one. Another trigeminy pattern is two PVCs with one sinus beat.

This rhythm is different from bigeminy, where the heart beats with one sinus beat and one PVC.

So, needless to say, this has been an ongoing journey... it has been trying, it has been exhausting both mentally and physically... there will be more to add but for now this is all i can do... it is just too much.... Oh and to add, this is all before he even started kindergarten.

The New Challenges We Face

Grade 3 so far... 2020/2021

So far with grade 3 little man has done outstanding! He is progressing quite nicely and has had fewer outbreaks thankfully!

he loves his new teacher! she is absolutely amazing.

He is doing so well and is where he should be academic wise with schooling. Social skills are still a hit and miss.

sleeping is still a tough tough task... 3-5 times a month hes up at 3:00am and thats it... up for the day...

the only concerning habit he has developed agression wise is he thinks its funny to threaten me.. to pretend to try to take a swing at me... try to get me to flinch... he will take objects that are hard and blunt as well and attempt to threaten me with them.. im not sure why he feels this is funny but he does.. for me it sends my anxiety through the roof ..

Covid has been hard - he is bored a lot so its hard to find things to do... especially with it being winter and all...

hopefully we will get some traction soon. his meds are almost perfect.. one small increase and we will be golden!!!

Danny - grade 2 - 2019/2020 School Year.

He has lots of "friends"... I put this into quotations as yes he has friends he sees at school.. there are friends he likes to do things with sometimes outside of school but honestly its very rare. We do not do playdates.. why? because when it comes to the day we never know how hes going to be when he wakes up. sometimes he can be in the best mood ever.. most times its the complete opposite. tiny triggers, little things that just bug him to the point of obsession.. so we dont go. we try mcdonalds, well 10-15 mins later its meltdown. too loud.. to many kids... he hides in the corner squating on the floor... park? sure why not.. we get there and 5 mins in hes getting upset that kids are either making fun of him or dont want to play his "baby games"... swimming? well this normally goes okay. unless someone at the pool takes a toy he is playing with right now....

i am going to share a video below.. and i can honestly say that this video i can relate to 100%.... Yes parenting a child with autism is hard, its tiring, and you need to have patience... but they never tell you how hard it is try to socialize or build friendships with other parents when you know as soon as your back is turned theyre whispering about you... or their child is asking them whats wrong with that person (my child) why are they so WEIRD.. ODD.. DEFIANT.... he is none of these... hes quirky, hes loving, hes kind, hes generous; but he cannot slow down. he cannot rationalize. he cannot read social ques..

where we are sitting right now.. its the end of January 2020... so far for grade 2 hes attacked his principal, hes attacked his teachers, hes threatened to stab people.. he has assaulted his home room teacher.. He doesnt get any work done in class.. they are literally just working on keeping him in the school... i dont even know if my child will pass school if something doesnt change.. he desperately needs a psychoeducational evaluation.. $1500.00 i will not pay for on my own.. he needs one on one..

The Big Issues...

He is not eating very much... hes gone from 67lbs in November 2019 to 56lbs January 2020..

He is not sleeping.... he will get maybe 3-4 hrs of sleep / night if its a good night..

If you start to put any kind of "demand" on him ie: Hey Dan why dont we do this activity now.. or now its time to take a shower - eruption like mt. saint helens....

I honestly feel so lost... his agressive behaviour is pouring over into school... i feel alone..

Float - by Pixar - https://www.facebook.com/isac.cesar.3/videos/2721682397869977/?d=n